Illusion of Gambling

A client, Chad age 18, stated “When I watch movies or TV, gambling is shown as something cool and something that adults do that is fun and is easy money. I always could not wait until I turned 21 so I could go to Las Vegas to gamble. There would be money; girls and it would be a great time.” As you can see, gambling is often depicted as a means of striking it rich easy or something that is “cool”. Due to the way gambling was depicted to Chad, he had the strong urge to go to Las Vegas and gamble to recreate the scenes he had seen in movies or TV shows.

While these shows are being glamorized on screen, it gives teenagers the urge to want to try it out. High school students show twice the amount of gambling problems as adult. These teens show signs of pathological gambling. As you know, pathological gambling signs include the rush when gambling, making many IOUs rather than stopping once they run out of money, they constantly try to stay in the game, and keep playing even after large amounts of losses.

Drew’s Problem

Drew, age 16 stated “There was one night where a bunch of us guys were playing poker and I had run out of money and I had not won anything. I felt like if I could just stay in the game I could win it all back! So I started telling the guys that I would pay them back and kept making IOUs. By the end of the night, I knew I couldn’t pay the guys back. They kept asking me for the money after that but I kept making excuses and I thought that if I gambled one more time I could win it back and pay them all back. I kept losing and I couldn’t stop. I got angry and also considered stealing from other students.” As you can see, Drew showed signs of pathological gambling. He believed that if he kept playing, he would eventually win everything back. This rarely happens in gambling and this mindset is what gets them to keep gambling. Drew was sucked into gambling at a young age which made him more susceptible to becoming addicted. The young age and gambling can become a serious addiction.

How Parents Can Help Young Age and Gambling

There are various ways to help prevent teenagers from becoming addicted. The longer parents keep teenagers from gambling, the less likely they will be to becoming addicted to gambling. Studies have shown that students who have a substance abuse problem also have a gambling problem. Those that started to gamble at a younger age also wager more frequently than gamblers who started as adults. Parents should discourage gambling and monitor their children. Parents should look for signs of grades dropping, odd money problems, lack of time spent with friends and family, and time spent with troublemakers. Parents can explain that social gambling can be fun on occasion but there are many negative consequences when one becomes addicted to gambling.

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Teen Gambling

Teenagers and gambling is a problem that is often overlooked by parents and teachers. There are many negative impacts that gambling can affect teenagers and the way  they behave. These do not only affect the teenagers but their family, friends and peers around them as well. Age limits on gambling are not enough to deter teenagers from finding other ways of gambling. There are all sorts of gambling methods

As you know, there is a minimum age requirement to gamble but the majority of teenagers are still able to find places to gamble and place bets. They may not be able to get into a casino but they are able to participate in lottery tickets, scratch and win cards, betting on sports game outcomes, and even internet gambling.

Jared Age 17 Wanted to be Cool

Jared age 17 stated in a session “I was attracted to gambling because it seemed fun and exciting. I also thought I would be able to win lots of money! All of my friends thought it was cool to gamble so I thought it was cool as well.” Jared did not view gambling as something harmful like they would with drug addiction or alcohol. Part of that reason is because there are fewer programs that educate teens about gambling and gambling addiction. Jared stated “My parents leave their credit card on the counter sometimes which is how I was able to gamble online. As long as I win the money back that I use from them, they won’t notice!” Jared was uneducated about the risk of never winning back what you bet.  If you are a social worker, MFT, or addictions counselor and need CEUs check out our addictions courses on onlineceucredit.com/online-ceus-addictions.php

Andy’s Parents lack of concern

Many parents do not pay as much attention to teen gambling as they would with drugs or drinking. It is often overlooked as something that is not an immediate concern. Children may see other family members gambling and receive the impression that it is harmless. This was apparent in a situation with my client, Andy age 15 who had started off playing card games with his friends after school. Andy stated “It was just fun at first I suggested we bet money because that’s how the adults do it. After that, we always bet money. I would skip lunch so I could use the money to bet. I started to lose more often and I became a bully and took money from other kids so I would have enough.” Andy was caught gambling after he showed signs of aggression with another student due to a gambling bet. His parents had no idea he had a gambling problem until he was caught. As you know, children often look up to adults so when they see family members betting money or gambling, they may imitate the behavior.

Lori’s School Work Suffered due to Teen Gambling

Due to the teen gambling, Andy became aggressive and stole money from other students. These are only a few of the many negative side effects that can come from teen gambling. Some other effects include the lack of attention in school and also lack of interest in any other activities. The parent of a student Lori who was age 19 expressed her frustration “Lori used to be such a great student, she used to achieve good grades and she was also a part of the school’s volleyball team but recently, she always goes over to a friend’s house to play poker. Her grades have dropped significantly and she won’t even talk to me about it. Her volleyball coach also came to me and expressed concern over Lori due to recent absences. It is like all of her attention is being sucked away by poker!” Lori did not become violent or aggressive like Andy but she lost interest in other interests she had and her school performance dropped significantly as well.

Age limits don’t work

There may be an age limit on gambling but that doesn’t stop teens from finding other ways to gamble. There are 30-40% of students across the United States that have tried and participated in some form of gambling.

What do you think?

Do you have a Jared, Andy or Lori that you have treated or are currently treating? I’d love to hear about a client you are treating for gambling.  If you need continuing education credits for your license renewal, check out our facebook page  to get a 20% discount code. This code entitles you to an additional 20% off CEU courses

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Technique #1. Unmasking the Critic’s Purpose
The first step to destroy the critic permanently is unmasking the critic’s purpose.  I asked 17 year old Josie to look beyond the consequences of her critic and try to uncover the motives behind the critic’s statements.  For Josie, this meant analyzing her own social incompetence.

She stated “I recently have had trouble at school with friends.  Actually, I don’t have very many.  I just recently realized that I was comparing myself to my friends.  I had to be as good at basketball, or be the president of NHS, or captain of the speech team.  There was no room for second place.  I realize now that that was my critic talking, telling me to work harder.  At some point, I realized I could not work any harder.  If I did, I would kill myself.”

Randall, her father, took part in unmasking her critic.  He stated, “I know when she’s stressed.  It’s easy to tell.  She gets really irritable, so when I see that, I’m thinking ‘Critic’s talking again.’  I sit down with her and we both go through her feelings and activities together.”  As you can see, her father is taking an active role in repairing the damage his own drive for perfection has done to his oppositional defiant teen.

For Technique #2  and #3 go to  Parenting Course

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However, my client Andrew found a way to observe his daughter Lacy’s behavior when he drove Lacy and her friends home from soccer practice.  Andrew stated, “I heard Lacy plotting with her friends to tease another girl in the class.  When I told Lacy later that I disapproved of her behavior, she just laughed and said that the girl was annoying and deserved to be teased.  I was horrified!”

Step Two: Watching
A second step is for parents to watch how their child treats his or her siblings. I explain to parents that if their son or daughter teases or bullies his or her younger siblings, chances are he or she acts the same way in the classroom.  My client Max had two boys, Larry, age 12, and Simon, age 8.  Max stated, “I never picked up on it before, but the other day I noticed Larry demanding Simon lend him his CD player.  When Simon said no, Larry started to push him around.”

Step Three: Talking to Teachers
In addition to listening when the student talks about his or her friends, and observing how the student treats siblings, a third step is for parents to talk to the student’s teacher, and to other parents. Clearly, teachers are good sources of information about a child’s social interactions.  Additionally, other parents may have information about children who may be involved in bullying.

Step Four: Monitoring the Media
A fourth step is for parents to monitor their child’s media diet.  I ask parents to notice if their son or daughter is hooked on violent video games or movies.  Could they be bringing the modeled confrontational attitudes to school.  Or, does their son or daughter spend leisure time watching shows in which characters frequently ‘dis’ each other?  Does she or he seem to admire these characters?  I encourage parents who answer yes to these questions to take an opportunity to make it clear to their child how they feel about the matter.

For 5th, 6th and 7th Steps for Assessing Bullying go to Risk Management Course

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Be Prepared
Before telling your child that he or she is adopted, gather as much information as possible about the birth parents. Your child will likely be curious and ask several questions about who his or her birth mother and father are. Having this information available will allow you to satisfy your child’s natural curiosity. If your child is too young to fully understand what it means to be adopted, you should still work on gathering this information. This way, you will be prepared for when your child does begin asking questions.

Start Early
You don’t have to wait until your child reaches a certain age before telling him or her about being adopted. You can introduce the concept of adoption when your child is a toddler or preschooler, even though he or she might not have a firm grasp of what it means. Bringing this topic up at such a young age helps your child adjust to it and helps him or her gradually understand it. Tell your child about the day you brought him or her home for the first time. Show pictures of that day and mention how happy your child made you feel.

Give an Honest Explanation
Be ready to explain who your child’s birth parents are and why they decided to give him or her up for adoption. You can decide how much to tell your child depending on his or her age. Basic details are fine for very young children, but older children might want a more detailed explanation. It’s important to be honest yet tactful. Focus on the positive aspects of your child’s adoption and avoid providing negative details about his or her birth parents. You might need to reassure your child that being put up for adoption wasn’t his or her fault.

Be Reassuring
Young children might become worried that their adoptive parents will decide to find a new home and new parents for them. After losing one set of parents, they might need to be reassured that they will not be losing another. Let your child know that this is his or her permanent home and family.

Encourage Discussion
Children generally begin understanding the concept of adoption by the time they’re 7 or 8 years old. You should expect your child to go through several emotions that are similar to the natural grieving process. At first, your child might refuse to accept that he or she was adopted. This might turn into a feeling of regret or sadness that stems from not knowing his or her birth parents and wondering what life might have been like. Your child might also feel ashamed about being given up for adoption. It’s important to encourage your child to discuss his or her feelings with you. Talking about these feelings will help your child adjust and learn to accept the fact that he or she was adopted.

Related course:
http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-online/cpa-adoptive-parent/continuing-education.html

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Not all bullies are the same, and it is not possible to say that one solution will end all harassments. The key is to determine what type of bully one is facing. Some bullies redirect their own feelings of insecurity by victimizing others that they perceive to be outcasts, but not all bullies feel this way. Some bullies are self-assured and commit acts of harassment for vindictive or malicious reasons. It is important to identify which type of bully one may be facing as their reactions to actions like avoidance or walking away will be very different depending on their personal motives.

For small children, the advice for dealing with bullies should always be to tell an adult. Small children are extremely formative and easily influenced by their emotions and situations. By always encouraging them to tell an adult, parents are ensuring that an opportunity to correct the situation through consultation for both the bully and the victim can occur. For older children, the tell-an-adult solution is less reasonable and may actually worsen some situations although it must be stressed in any case where physical violence is involved. For tweens and teens, it is vitally important that parents give good advice for handling harassment situations in a non-escalating manner.

Parents and children should remember that movies and popular media fictitiously portray manners for dealing with bullying that can actually have disastrous results if applied to actual situations. Humiliating or physically harming a bully is never an appropriate recourse. Instead, victims must take away the psychological reward associated with harassment for the bully.

There is a target reaction that the bully wants, and they will continue to return to the victim as long as the victim continues to supply that reaction.
Teaching children that the power to overcome the torments of a bully is in controlling one’s reaction is important. Deflecting a bully’s comments can be done with simple non-emotional responses that question the integrity of the comment. The object is to diffuse the power of the harassment and not to attack the bully or to engage in physical violence.

Related course:
http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-online/ttt-bullying/continuing-education.html

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