Cyber bullying: How It Works

When a child or young adult accesses the internet, text messages or social media websites, or chat rooms they are susceptible to cyber bullying. As you are aware, cyber bullying is the use of digital technology to harass another child or young adult.

Zach’s Empowerment

Zach, age 16 is a teenager who was a bully. Zach stated “I was angry with my life because my parents were arguing and I always felt better when I made others feel bad. I resorted to cyber bullying because no one knew who I was on there. I would hide behind a screen name and I wouldn’t be caught. I harassed a classmate of mine through a chat room and I thought it was fun because he had no idea it was me.”

As you can see, Zach felt empowered because he was able to bully a classmate and get away with it. Zach’s method of using a chat room is an example of how cyber bullying can follow victims outside of school and even in their own homes.

Harmful Effects on Dana

Dana, age 14, is a victim of cyber bullying. Dana stated “There was a guy in my class that would constantly message me with a username. He would say awful things that made me feel ugly and fat. I knew that he was lowering my self-esteem but I felt powerless to do anything. If I reported it to the teachers, they could not prove it was him.”

In Dana’s Situation, the bully was not able to be identified and was able to constantly harass her by cyber bullying. Cyber bullying like this can often lead to low self-esteem which Dana experienced and it can also lead to feeling hurt, depressed, angry or suicidal.

Can the Roles be Switched?

Often times cyber bullying is something any young adult or child can do. It is easy to hide behind a screen name or fake profile to harass another student. Victims may feel angry and turn around and cyber bully another person.

Julie’s Transformation – Bullying to Bully

Julie, age 18, stated “Back when I was 14 years old I was cyber bullied a lot. I was made fun of for being ugly and short. I always felt angry at myself for letting them bully me. One day I decided to bully one of the girls that bullied me. I said some awful things about her brother and his OCD. I spread lies on social media websites about her and she stopped bothering me. However, I couldn’t stop bothering her because I did not want to go back to being bullied again.”

The Bullying Cycle had started

With Julie, she retaliated because she no longer wanted to be bullied. This started a bullying cycle in which the victims become the bullies and the bullies become victims. Later, the same thing might happen to Julie and she will become the one who is bullied again.

The Worst Part of Bullying is…

Cyber bullying can be done anonymously which makes it easier for the bully and it also hurts the victim more due to the fact that it can follow them everywhere and happen at any time.

Should you need to fulfill your continuing education requirement you might consider getting Bullying CEUs.

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Secrecy

The first sign is the impulse to gamble in secrecy. Brooke, age 39 stated “I would go out to gamble and if my husband ever asked, I would lie and say I was going to a friend’s house. I lied because I did not want to deal with his response. Our communication was far from perfect and I felt that if he found out about me going out to gamble, he would get angry.” As you can see, Brooke was hiding the fact that she was gambling from her husband. In addition, she lied about her whereabouts to him if he ever asked. She felt that if she told her husband, he would not understand her decision to gamble.

Chad’s Gambling Problem

The second sign is the inability to control your gambling. Chad, age 44 stated “Once I walked into the casino I would not be able to leave. I would sit at the slot machine and keep gambling away. I was depressed because of my money problems and I felt the need to win back what should have been mine. I would sit at the slots and hope to make it rich. If family members called asking me to come home, I would refuse. The need to win was so powerful I was not able to walk away.” Chad felt compelled to stay on the slot machines. He was not able to control his gambling problem.

How far is too far?

The third sign is when you run out of money to gamble and start using money that is saved for expenses, bills and college funds. Chad continued “There was one night where I did not win anything and I had lost all of my gambling money. I felt depressed and thought to myself that if I just had a little bit more I could win some more. So I took money out of my wife’s account to continue gambling. I felt ashamed but I also thought that I could win it back before she noticed. I was wrong and I lost more and more.” With Chad, he felt that if he kept gambling, he could win back what he lost. This rarely happens in gambling and he felt the need to take money from his wife. If Chad had let this continue, he might have eventually started to steal, take money from savings accounts, or borrow from others. The more money you gamble, the worst off you are.

Family and Friends Worry

gambling problem

The fourth sign is when family or friends become increasingly worried. Gamblers are often in denial and believe that there is nothing wrong. They may not listen to family and friends very well. Gamblers are often not aware of how gambling is taking a toll on their lives. The concerns of family or friends should be taken into consideration. Family and friends are concerned because only want to help. If help is needed, one should not be afraid to ask.

Now that you know the four signs of a gambling problem, do you have a client or know someone who could benefit from these signs? Gambling problems cause more than just financial complications; it causes complications with relationships such as family and couples. It is important to identify gambling problems early so that minimal damage will be caused.

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Illusion of Gambling

A client, Chad age 18, stated “When I watch movies or TV, gambling is shown as something cool and something that adults do that is fun and is easy money. I always could not wait until I turned 21 so I could go to Las Vegas to gamble. There would be money; girls and it would be a great time.” As you can see, gambling is often depicted as a means of striking it rich easy or something that is “cool”. Due to the way gambling was depicted to Chad, he had the strong urge to go to Las Vegas and gamble to recreate the scenes he had seen in movies or TV shows.

While these shows are being glamorized on screen, it gives teenagers the urge to want to try it out. High school students show twice the amount of gambling problems as adult. These teens show signs of pathological gambling. As you know, pathological gambling signs include the rush when gambling, making many IOUs rather than stopping once they run out of money, they constantly try to stay in the game, and keep playing even after large amounts of losses.

Drew’s Problem

Drew, age 16 stated “There was one night where a bunch of us guys were playing poker and I had run out of money and I had not won anything. I felt like if I could just stay in the game I could win it all back! So I started telling the guys that I would pay them back and kept making IOUs. By the end of the night, I knew I couldn’t pay the guys back. They kept asking me for the money after that but I kept making excuses and I thought that if I gambled one more time I could win it back and pay them all back. I kept losing and I couldn’t stop. I got angry and also considered stealing from other students.” As you can see, Drew showed signs of pathological gambling. He believed that if he kept playing, he would eventually win everything back. This rarely happens in gambling and this mindset is what gets them to keep gambling. Drew was sucked into gambling at a young age which made him more susceptible to becoming addicted. The young age and gambling can become a serious addiction.

How Parents Can Help Young Age and Gambling

There are various ways to help prevent teenagers from becoming addicted. The longer parents keep teenagers from gambling, the less likely they will be to becoming addicted to gambling. Studies have shown that students who have a substance abuse problem also have a gambling problem. Those that started to gamble at a younger age also wager more frequently than gamblers who started as adults. Parents should discourage gambling and monitor their children. Parents should look for signs of grades dropping, odd money problems, lack of time spent with friends and family, and time spent with troublemakers. Parents can explain that social gambling can be fun on occasion but there are many negative consequences when one becomes addicted to gambling.

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#1 Anger Arising from Limitations
The first manifestation of anger is anger arising from limitations.  Clients who experience chronic pain find themselves constantly frustrated by the reduced scope of their abilities.  Because of their loss of independence, clients become angry at themselves for their lack of ability but also those who do not accept or recognize their limitations.  When another person asks a client to perform beyond their capabilities, the client becomes enraged at him or herself for not being able to accomplish it and also the other person for not recognizing and validating the client’s condition.

Carol, age 31, had an enflamed disc in her spine that caused her constant pain.  One day, a new manager at her office asked her to carry a box down to the warehouse.  Unable to carry the box, but also equally unable to explain her weakness to her manager, Carol instead asked one of her friends to do the task for her, but still complained about the ignorance of her new employer.  Carol stated, “He didn’t even ask me if I could carry that box, he just ordered me to!  He’s such an inconsiderate ass!  I bet if he expressed one ounce of concern for his employees, his head might implode.”

Carol’s unwarranted anger was quick in passing, but I still asked her to explain her condition to the manager the next day.  I stated, “I know that you know people cannot read minds.  If you do not explain to the people around you about your back pain, you will only find yourself becoming more and more angry at your situation.”  I asked Carol to make a list of people that should know about her condition to reduce the frequency of her angry outbursts.

Think of your Carol? Is he or she angry about his or her limitations?

For #2 and #3 Manifestations of Anger go to Pain Management Course

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Relax
When you feel angry, resist the urge to react as you normally would. Instead, count to 10 to give yourself time to calm down. Take deep breaths before responding to the person who made you angry or taking any other action. This pause allows you to gather your thoughts and relax your body and mind. Doing this can help reduce feelings of anger and weaken the impulse to handle it in a destructive manner.

Be Assertive, Not Aggressive
Keeping your anger in check doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to disagree with someone or stand up for yourself. You can work on being assertive instead of aggressive. This involves speaking to others tactfully while keeping your emotions under control. Learning how to be assertive gives you a safe and healthy way to deal with your anger. Keep in mind that this skill requires a lot of practice and patience to master.

Change Your Thoughts
You might not be able to control angry thoughts that arise, but you can change them. When certain events trigger angry responses, pay close attention to the thoughts that go through your head. Get into the habit of replacing them with positive or neutral ones. When you’re angry, your thoughts tend to be exaggerated. Try to think about the event that caused your anger in a more realistic, objective way. This helps you keep things in perspective and reduces the chance that the same or similar situation will make you angry in the future.

Find Solutions
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut when you deal with anger on a regular basis. Instead of reacting in a negative way when certain things trigger your anger, look for solutions. For example, try to minimize the amount of time you interact with a co-worker who frequently tests your patience. Focusing on finding solutions takes the emphasis of off the person or situation that causes you to feel angry and helps you deal it with more constructively.

Let It Go
If you’re dealing with an issue or problem that you can’t control, you might need to just let it go. In order to do this, you’ll need to recognize and accept your own limitations. This way of handling anger can prove to be much more difficult than any others since it requires a considerable amount of self-control. You shouldn’t be ignoring or burying your anger in this case. You’ll need to accept the fact that you can’t deal with the issue or problem and move on.

related course:
http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-online/cti-anger-management/continuing-education.html

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