Should you Retaliate?

The key principle is to not follow through with your normal reaction of retaliating against the bully. So what can your client, child or you yourself do if you are being bullied.

Actions to Take Against a Cyber Bully

1. Is to ask yourself what evidence do I have that cyber bullying has occurred? Then to create a folder and paste into word format e-mails, internet posts, and social media posts etc. An easy way to do this is to create a screenshot of the web page and then report the bully to a trusted adult such as a parent, member of your family, teacher, or a counselor at your school.If you fear retaliation by the cyber bully, and do not report them their attacks may become more aggressive

2. Are you receiving harmful threats and inappropriate sexually focused messages? These need to be reported to the police. The cyber bullies actions can be prosecuted in a court of law
3. As you may be aware, cyber bullying can be relentless unfortunately cyber bullying usually includes several incidences. Are you experiencing attacks over a period of time? Just as the cyber bully may be relentless you also may need to be relentless. What do I mean by being relentless? You may need to keep recording all of the times that the bully has said a cyberbullying message to you. You do not need to feel that you just need to bear it.
4. How do you stop cyber bullying through communication? Here are three examples. First of all and this is pretty easy is to block their e-mail address. Secondly block their phone number from your cell phone and thirdly delete the cyber bully as a social media contact. You can then contact your internet service provider (ISP)

Points to Remember When You are Being Cyberbullied

1. Don’t be involved in the blame game regarding yourself. Remember cyber bullying is the fault of the cyber bully and not yours. Regardless of how to e-mail or blog post reads there is no reason to feel shame regarding how you feel. It is important to remember that the cyber bully is the problem and you are not.
2. Gain a different perspective. Think of this cyber bully as a very sad perhaps self-angry individual. He or she is trying to gain power over you and your feelings. The reason is they want you to feel self-hate about yourself that he or she feels about his or herself. You cannot provide them with this satisfaction by taking the steps listed
3. Do not go into your own self-hate mode. In other words beating yourself up. If you have experienced cyber bullying what increases the problem is continuing to think about it and perhaps reading and re-reading the e-mails or blog posts. If you have decided to save the cyber bullying messages for evidence, put it away in a remote folder and delete it from your timeline so you are not repeatedly reviewing the attack. Then think of the many wonderful things about yourself and accomplishments that you like and admire.

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Cyber bullying: How It Works

When a child or young adult accesses the internet, text messages or social media websites, or chat rooms they are susceptible to cyber bullying. As you are aware, cyber bullying is the use of digital technology to harass another child or young adult.

Zach’s Empowerment

Zach, age 16 is a teenager who was a bully. Zach stated “I was angry with my life because my parents were arguing and I always felt better when I made others feel bad. I resorted to cyber bullying because no one knew who I was on there. I would hide behind a screen name and I wouldn’t be caught. I harassed a classmate of mine through a chat room and I thought it was fun because he had no idea it was me.”

As you can see, Zach felt empowered because he was able to bully a classmate and get away with it. Zach’s method of using a chat room is an example of how cyber bullying can follow victims outside of school and even in their own homes.

Harmful Effects on Dana

Dana, age 14, is a victim of cyber bullying. Dana stated “There was a guy in my class that would constantly message me with a username. He would say awful things that made me feel ugly and fat. I knew that he was lowering my self-esteem but I felt powerless to do anything. If I reported it to the teachers, they could not prove it was him.”

In Dana’s Situation, the bully was not able to be identified and was able to constantly harass her by cyber bullying. Cyber bullying like this can often lead to low self-esteem which Dana experienced and it can also lead to feeling hurt, depressed, angry or suicidal.

Can the Roles be Switched?

Often times cyber bullying is something any young adult or child can do. It is easy to hide behind a screen name or fake profile to harass another student. Victims may feel angry and turn around and cyber bully another person.

Julie’s Transformation – Bullying to Bully

Julie, age 18, stated “Back when I was 14 years old I was cyber bullied a lot. I was made fun of for being ugly and short. I always felt angry at myself for letting them bully me. One day I decided to bully one of the girls that bullied me. I said some awful things about her brother and his OCD. I spread lies on social media websites about her and she stopped bothering me. However, I couldn’t stop bothering her because I did not want to go back to being bullied again.”

The Bullying Cycle had started

With Julie, she retaliated because she no longer wanted to be bullied. This started a bullying cycle in which the victims become the bullies and the bullies become victims. Later, the same thing might happen to Julie and she will become the one who is bullied again.

The Worst Part of Bullying is…

Cyber bullying can be done anonymously which makes it easier for the bully and it also hurts the victim more due to the fact that it can follow them everywhere and happen at any time.

Should you need to fulfill your continuing education requirement you might consider getting Bullying CEUs.

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Not all bullies are the same, and it is not possible to say that one solution will end all harassments. The key is to determine what type of bully one is facing. Some bullies redirect their own feelings of insecurity by victimizing others that they perceive to be outcasts, but not all bullies feel this way. Some bullies are self-assured and commit acts of harassment for vindictive or malicious reasons. It is important to identify which type of bully one may be facing as their reactions to actions like avoidance or walking away will be very different depending on their personal motives.

For small children, the advice for dealing with bullies should always be to tell an adult. Small children are extremely formative and easily influenced by their emotions and situations. By always encouraging them to tell an adult, parents are ensuring that an opportunity to correct the situation through consultation for both the bully and the victim can occur. For older children, the tell-an-adult solution is less reasonable and may actually worsen some situations although it must be stressed in any case where physical violence is involved. For tweens and teens, it is vitally important that parents give good advice for handling harassment situations in a non-escalating manner.

Parents and children should remember that movies and popular media fictitiously portray manners for dealing with bullying that can actually have disastrous results if applied to actual situations. Humiliating or physically harming a bully is never an appropriate recourse. Instead, victims must take away the psychological reward associated with harassment for the bully.

There is a target reaction that the bully wants, and they will continue to return to the victim as long as the victim continues to supply that reaction.
Teaching children that the power to overcome the torments of a bully is in controlling one’s reaction is important. Deflecting a bully’s comments can be done with simple non-emotional responses that question the integrity of the comment. The object is to diffuse the power of the harassment and not to attack the bully or to engage in physical violence.

Related course:
http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-online/ttt-bullying/continuing-education.html

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