Being the most common feature in our times qualified our times to be probably called an era of anxietyowing  to  its  contradictions  and  challenges,  the  lack  of  opportunities  for  self-fulfillment,  over  stress  and  poor social  relationships  and  values,  which  leads  to  a  sense  of  tension  and  anxiety  associated  with  our  inability  to predict what will happen in the future.

Future anxiety is one of the anxieties that simultaneously emerged with Toffler’s launching of the term Future  Shock  (1970);  Zaleski  (1996)  indicated  this concept  which  refers  to  a  state  of  apprehension,  fear, uncertainty  and  anxiety  of  undesired  changes  expected  to  occur  in  the  future.  This  fear  of  the  future could include a variety of anticipated threats including physical threats, such as illness or accident, or emotional threats, for example the loss of one of the family members. These threats vary in terms of severity, and future anxiety may include the individual’s fear of failure in achieving his/her goals and aspirations.

Full story at Institute of Education Sciences

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Personal experience: I personally have a resistance to being mindful because it requires that I slow down and pay attention to how my five senses are interacting with the present moment. I personally feel perhaps you agree that our culture raises us to feel we need to be productive in every moment. Therefore slowing down elicits an internal resistance within me. However on the mornings when I awaken I remember to just breathe and focus in on what I see, hear, feel, smell, and taste it seems like my day goes a lot better. My resistance comes in because internally I want to be problem-solving. My mind once to float into if A and B are happening what is solution C.  So what happens is I’m doing something that seems at the time isolated and not related to be more productive by, for example, focusing in on how my breath feels against my tongue. But for some strange reason the days that I start off with just two, three, four or even five minutes of focusing on my breath I end up being much calmer and better organized throughout my day. So I find mindfulness, personally, to be one of the most powerful of the 10 tools. And perhaps because it is so powerful, it is the hardest for me to initiate and use. Show of hands, how many of you have started into a a meditation practice and for whatever reason are not practicing daily?

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Should you Retaliate?

The key principle is to not follow through with your normal reaction of retaliating against the bully. So what can your client, child or you yourself do if you are being bullied.

Actions to Take Against a Cyber Bully

1. Is to ask yourself what evidence do I have that cyber bullying has occurred? Then to create a folder and paste into word format e-mails, internet posts, and social media posts etc. An easy way to do this is to create a screenshot of the web page and then report the bully to a trusted adult such as a parent, member of your family, teacher, or a counselor at your school.If you fear retaliation by the cyber bully, and do not report them their attacks may become more aggressive

2. Are you receiving harmful threats and inappropriate sexually focused messages? These need to be reported to the police. The cyber bullies actions can be prosecuted in a court of law
3. As you may be aware, cyber bullying can be relentless unfortunately cyber bullying usually includes several incidences. Are you experiencing attacks over a period of time? Just as the cyber bully may be relentless you also may need to be relentless. What do I mean by being relentless? You may need to keep recording all of the times that the bully has said a cyberbullying message to you. You do not need to feel that you just need to bear it.
4. How do you stop cyber bullying through communication? Here are three examples. First of all and this is pretty easy is to block their e-mail address. Secondly block their phone number from your cell phone and thirdly delete the cyber bully as a social media contact. You can then contact your internet service provider (ISP)

Points to Remember When You are Being Cyberbullied

1. Don’t be involved in the blame game regarding yourself. Remember cyber bullying is the fault of the cyber bully and not yours. Regardless of how to e-mail or blog post reads there is no reason to feel shame regarding how you feel. It is important to remember that the cyber bully is the problem and you are not.
2. Gain a different perspective. Think of this cyber bully as a very sad perhaps self-angry individual. He or she is trying to gain power over you and your feelings. The reason is they want you to feel self-hate about yourself that he or she feels about his or herself. You cannot provide them with this satisfaction by taking the steps listed
3. Do not go into your own self-hate mode. In other words beating yourself up. If you have experienced cyber bullying what increases the problem is continuing to think about it and perhaps reading and re-reading the e-mails or blog posts. If you have decided to save the cyber bullying messages for evidence, put it away in a remote folder and delete it from your timeline so you are not repeatedly reviewing the attack. Then think of the many wonderful things about yourself and accomplishments that you like and admire.

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Cyber bullying: How It Works

When a child or young adult accesses the internet, text messages or social media websites, or chat rooms they are susceptible to cyber bullying. As you are aware, cyber bullying is the use of digital technology to harass another child or young adult.

Zach’s Empowerment

Zach, age 16 is a teenager who was a bully. Zach stated “I was angry with my life because my parents were arguing and I always felt better when I made others feel bad. I resorted to cyber bullying because no one knew who I was on there. I would hide behind a screen name and I wouldn’t be caught. I harassed a classmate of mine through a chat room and I thought it was fun because he had no idea it was me.”

As you can see, Zach felt empowered because he was able to bully a classmate and get away with it. Zach’s method of using a chat room is an example of how cyber bullying can follow victims outside of school and even in their own homes.

Harmful Effects on Dana

Dana, age 14, is a victim of cyber bullying. Dana stated “There was a guy in my class that would constantly message me with a username. He would say awful things that made me feel ugly and fat. I knew that he was lowering my self-esteem but I felt powerless to do anything. If I reported it to the teachers, they could not prove it was him.”

In Dana’s Situation, the bully was not able to be identified and was able to constantly harass her by cyber bullying. Cyber bullying like this can often lead to low self-esteem which Dana experienced and it can also lead to feeling hurt, depressed, angry or suicidal.

Can the Roles be Switched?

Often times cyber bullying is something any young adult or child can do. It is easy to hide behind a screen name or fake profile to harass another student. Victims may feel angry and turn around and cyber bully another person.

Julie’s Transformation – Bullying to Bully

Julie, age 18, stated “Back when I was 14 years old I was cyber bullied a lot. I was made fun of for being ugly and short. I always felt angry at myself for letting them bully me. One day I decided to bully one of the girls that bullied me. I said some awful things about her brother and his OCD. I spread lies on social media websites about her and she stopped bothering me. However, I couldn’t stop bothering her because I did not want to go back to being bullied again.”

The Bullying Cycle had started

With Julie, she retaliated because she no longer wanted to be bullied. This started a bullying cycle in which the victims become the bullies and the bullies become victims. Later, the same thing might happen to Julie and she will become the one who is bullied again.

The Worst Part of Bullying is…

Cyber bullying can be done anonymously which makes it easier for the bully and it also hurts the victim more due to the fact that it can follow them everywhere and happen at any time.

Should you need to fulfill your continuing education requirement you might consider getting Bullying CEUs.

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Gambling Decisions

Gambling

The first aspect is commitment. When gambling, the commitment to gamble has been made beforehand. If the impulse to gamble comes up, what can you do? Jody, age 30 stated “I was home alone while my kids were at school and my husband was at work. Our relationship was at the stage where we were recovering from some martial issues. I suddenly wanted to take the car and head to the casino. I almost did but I stopped and thought about the hard work I had put into fixing our relationship. I called my close friend and she talked me out of wanting to go gambling. “As you can see, Jody was able to stop herself from committing to making the choice of gambling. Stopping and thinking about the negative impacts can benefit a problem gambler.

Money to Gamble

The second aspect that enables gambling addiction is money. Without any money, gambling is not a possibility. To gamble, money is extremely important. To decrease the chance of gambling, limit your credit cards, allow a close family member or friend to manage your money and to only carry a minimal amount of cash. All of these methods limit the amount of gambling that could be done. Decreasing the amount of gambling allows the problem gambler to only do minimal damage to finances. It could also help slowly wane them off the addiction.

Time to Gamble

The third aspect is time. Gambling is not possible without having time invested into it. Jared, age 38 stated “Once I realized I had a gambling problem, I started to slowly break the addiction. I started to plan out vacations with my wife. I spent time with my son who was dealing with bullying problems at school. I just filled up my time with as many things as I could to keep my mind off of gambling. I spent more time with my best friend during the time spent with him; I realized he had been dealing with depression. I realized that I had lost track of the world by spending all of my time gambling.” Jared decided to spend his free time engaging in activities other than gambling and was able to mend his relationships with friends and family.

A Game

The fourth aspect is a game. Without some activity or game to bet on, there is no room for gambling to occur. Removing possible opportunities for gambling will prevent the temptation to gamble. This ensures that a problem gambler will not continue to gamble as often. Sometimes a situation presents itself and there is nothing you can do about it. In cases like these, it is best to ask a friend or family member to hold your money. As explained in the second aspect, without money, gambling is not possible.

The four aspects that allow gambling to be a problem include commitment, money, time, and games. Now that you know these aspects, there are many steps that can be taken to prevent gambling problems to continue. If precautions are taken to prevent problem gamblers from betting their money, they can break their addiction.

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Secrecy

The first sign is the impulse to gamble in secrecy. Brooke, age 39 stated “I would go out to gamble and if my husband ever asked, I would lie and say I was going to a friend’s house. I lied because I did not want to deal with his response. Our communication was far from perfect and I felt that if he found out about me going out to gamble, he would get angry.” As you can see, Brooke was hiding the fact that she was gambling from her husband. In addition, she lied about her whereabouts to him if he ever asked. She felt that if she told her husband, he would not understand her decision to gamble.

Chad’s Gambling Problem

The second sign is the inability to control your gambling. Chad, age 44 stated “Once I walked into the casino I would not be able to leave. I would sit at the slot machine and keep gambling away. I was depressed because of my money problems and I felt the need to win back what should have been mine. I would sit at the slots and hope to make it rich. If family members called asking me to come home, I would refuse. The need to win was so powerful I was not able to walk away.” Chad felt compelled to stay on the slot machines. He was not able to control his gambling problem.

How far is too far?

The third sign is when you run out of money to gamble and start using money that is saved for expenses, bills and college funds. Chad continued “There was one night where I did not win anything and I had lost all of my gambling money. I felt depressed and thought to myself that if I just had a little bit more I could win some more. So I took money out of my wife’s account to continue gambling. I felt ashamed but I also thought that I could win it back before she noticed. I was wrong and I lost more and more.” With Chad, he felt that if he kept gambling, he could win back what he lost. This rarely happens in gambling and he felt the need to take money from his wife. If Chad had let this continue, he might have eventually started to steal, take money from savings accounts, or borrow from others. The more money you gamble, the worst off you are.

Family and Friends Worry

gambling problem

The fourth sign is when family or friends become increasingly worried. Gamblers are often in denial and believe that there is nothing wrong. They may not listen to family and friends very well. Gamblers are often not aware of how gambling is taking a toll on their lives. The concerns of family or friends should be taken into consideration. Family and friends are concerned because only want to help. If help is needed, one should not be afraid to ask.

Now that you know the four signs of a gambling problem, do you have a client or know someone who could benefit from these signs? Gambling problems cause more than just financial complications; it causes complications with relationships such as family and couples. It is important to identify gambling problems early so that minimal damage will be caused.

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Gambling

Do you know the myths and the facts about gambling? Find out the facts and the myths about gambling addiction. Gambling includes betting on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, and slots in a casino or online.

Jodie’s Age 28 Gambling Myth

The first myth is that you are a problem gambler only if you gamble daily. Many clients do not believe themselves to be addicted to gambling because they do not gamble every day. A client, Jodie age 28 stated “I thought that I was not addicted to gambling because I did not go very often. I go about once a month but I realized that I would stay at the casino for many hours and lose a large sum of money. The amount I lost caused me problems and I would always end up working twice as much to make ends meet.” As you can see, Jodie did not have to gamble every day to be a problem gambler. One can be addicted to gambling even if they gamble infrequently.

I Can Afford It

Second myth is that if you can afford to gamble then you do not have a problem. Zach age 34 expressed “Whenever I gambled, I never lost enough to the point where I was in debt. I could afford to gamble so I believed I did not have a gambling problem. However, my family became increasingly upset with me because I was spending more time at the casino than with family. I started missing out on my son’s baseball games to gamble. It made my son depressed due to the belief that I no longer cared. It led to all sorts of problems with my wife and children. I may not have been ruining myself financially but I was ruining my relationships.” In Zach’s case, he had no trouble financially but gambling consumed the time he could have spent on his family.

Who is to Blame?

A third gambling myth is that the partners of gamblers make gamblers gamble more often. Many gamblers avoid responsibility and tend to blame their behavior on others. Taylor, age 46 stated “I can’t stop gambling. My wife drives me crazy with the nightmarish cycles and she always complains about how we don’t have enough money. My wife nags me to get a better job but I can’t. She makes me stressed out and I can only work so much. I have to go to the casino to try and win the extra money for her.” Taylor believed that he was being forced to gamble due to his wife being upset about their financial situation. Gambling actually creates more financial debt and Taylor neglected to acknowledge that.

Should You Help?

The fourth myth is that when a family member or a friend pays off a debt of a gambler, they are doing them a favor. This is actually a lie. If you pay off their debt, you are encouraging their behavior due to the fact that you are giving them an easy break. They aren’t able to learn from their mistakes and deal with the consequences. Eventually they will have to deal with the consequences but it is much better if you let them learn earlier than later. Paying off their debt is a quick fix but it is merely temporary.

I have found these gambling myths to be very common and to be false. If you need continuing education about gambling addictions and how to treat them, visit my website http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-online/gf-gambling/continuing-education.html.

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Illusion of Gambling

A client, Chad age 18, stated “When I watch movies or TV, gambling is shown as something cool and something that adults do that is fun and is easy money. I always could not wait until I turned 21 so I could go to Las Vegas to gamble. There would be money; girls and it would be a great time.” As you can see, gambling is often depicted as a means of striking it rich easy or something that is “cool”. Due to the way gambling was depicted to Chad, he had the strong urge to go to Las Vegas and gamble to recreate the scenes he had seen in movies or TV shows.

While these shows are being glamorized on screen, it gives teenagers the urge to want to try it out. High school students show twice the amount of gambling problems as adult. These teens show signs of pathological gambling. As you know, pathological gambling signs include the rush when gambling, making many IOUs rather than stopping once they run out of money, they constantly try to stay in the game, and keep playing even after large amounts of losses.

Drew’s Problem

Drew, age 16 stated “There was one night where a bunch of us guys were playing poker and I had run out of money and I had not won anything. I felt like if I could just stay in the game I could win it all back! So I started telling the guys that I would pay them back and kept making IOUs. By the end of the night, I knew I couldn’t pay the guys back. They kept asking me for the money after that but I kept making excuses and I thought that if I gambled one more time I could win it back and pay them all back. I kept losing and I couldn’t stop. I got angry and also considered stealing from other students.” As you can see, Drew showed signs of pathological gambling. He believed that if he kept playing, he would eventually win everything back. This rarely happens in gambling and this mindset is what gets them to keep gambling. Drew was sucked into gambling at a young age which made him more susceptible to becoming addicted. The young age and gambling can become a serious addiction.

How Parents Can Help Young Age and Gambling

There are various ways to help prevent teenagers from becoming addicted. The longer parents keep teenagers from gambling, the less likely they will be to becoming addicted to gambling. Studies have shown that students who have a substance abuse problem also have a gambling problem. Those that started to gamble at a younger age also wager more frequently than gamblers who started as adults. Parents should discourage gambling and monitor their children. Parents should look for signs of grades dropping, odd money problems, lack of time spent with friends and family, and time spent with troublemakers. Parents can explain that social gambling can be fun on occasion but there are many negative consequences when one becomes addicted to gambling.

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I had a client named Joel who did not have a gambling addiction until a Casino opened up several blocks away from his home. Due to the close proximity of the Casino, Joel started to gamble and play more frequently which in turn caused him to lose larger amounts of money. Joel stated “I feel ashamed. I withdrew money from my kid’s savings and even forged my own wife’s signature on a mortgage agreement. I was so depressed I felt like committing suicide. But now I am okay.”

The Rise of Gambling

Gambling

Joel is one of the many people who have a gambling addiction. You might wonder why gambling has been steadily growing. A fraction of the reason is due to the economy. States bring in casinos to make up for their economies. Gambling gives rise to jobs and it also creates gambling addicts. Casinos may be beneficial to the economy but it is not beneficial to society. Places such as Las Vegas depend on gambling as their main source of revenue but studies have shown that there are higher chances of addicts, aggression and crimes such as burglary. Studies have shown that if states used the money spent on gambling on other things such as college education it would also benefit the economy.

Gambling and Affects on Relationships

Gambling creates damaged relationships in addition to financial debt. A client Tim, stated “My brother and I created a small business together and it was doing extremely well for several years until I let my gambling addiction take over and took the money from our company. My gambling addiction became even worse once I discovered online gambling which forced me to withdraw close to a million dollars from the business.” His brother has also not spoken to him since the incident. Tim expressed his desire to reconnect with his brother but his brother would not accept his apology. Tim’s gambling addiction damaged his relationship with his brother and also caused a promising business to collapse.

There are many others like Tim and Joel. In fact, people from all different ethnicities, ages and genders are affected by gambling addiction. However, people who have recently experienced an important life changing event such as divorce, loss of a loved one, or even unemployment are especially more likely to become addicted. Others with history of sexual abuse, neglect, addiction or mental illness are also at a higher risk of becoming addicted.

What are ways to help?

With the rise of gambling addiction, what are ways to help those affected by this problem? One way is to acquire more help for people who are addicted. There are only a very few number of states that offer councils on gambling addiction and even fewer offer treatment. Avoiding denial is also another way to help those affected. Many gamblers are unaware that they have a gambling problem or they refuse to tell loved ones out of shame or need to win more money. Some lie to themselves or they convince themselves that they are actually able to gamble responsibly when they are not able to do so. Gambling addiction is different from drug addictions due to the fact that you are unable to see or smell it on a person. While these two ways can help with gambling addictions, the government could assist in protecting society from gambling addiction. However, many are opposed to the government taking action against gambling.

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Teen Gambling

Teenagers and gambling is a problem that is often overlooked by parents and teachers. There are many negative impacts that gambling can affect teenagers and the way  they behave. These do not only affect the teenagers but their family, friends and peers around them as well. Age limits on gambling are not enough to deter teenagers from finding other ways of gambling. There are all sorts of gambling methods

As you know, there is a minimum age requirement to gamble but the majority of teenagers are still able to find places to gamble and place bets. They may not be able to get into a casino but they are able to participate in lottery tickets, scratch and win cards, betting on sports game outcomes, and even internet gambling.

Jared Age 17 Wanted to be Cool

Jared age 17 stated in a session “I was attracted to gambling because it seemed fun and exciting. I also thought I would be able to win lots of money! All of my friends thought it was cool to gamble so I thought it was cool as well.” Jared did not view gambling as something harmful like they would with drug addiction or alcohol. Part of that reason is because there are fewer programs that educate teens about gambling and gambling addiction. Jared stated “My parents leave their credit card on the counter sometimes which is how I was able to gamble online. As long as I win the money back that I use from them, they won’t notice!” Jared was uneducated about the risk of never winning back what you bet.  If you are a social worker, MFT, or addictions counselor and need CEUs check out our addictions courses on onlineceucredit.com/online-ceus-addictions.php

Andy’s Parents lack of concern

Many parents do not pay as much attention to teen gambling as they would with drugs or drinking. It is often overlooked as something that is not an immediate concern. Children may see other family members gambling and receive the impression that it is harmless. This was apparent in a situation with my client, Andy age 15 who had started off playing card games with his friends after school. Andy stated “It was just fun at first I suggested we bet money because that’s how the adults do it. After that, we always bet money. I would skip lunch so I could use the money to bet. I started to lose more often and I became a bully and took money from other kids so I would have enough.” Andy was caught gambling after he showed signs of aggression with another student due to a gambling bet. His parents had no idea he had a gambling problem until he was caught. As you know, children often look up to adults so when they see family members betting money or gambling, they may imitate the behavior.

Lori’s School Work Suffered due to Teen Gambling

Due to the teen gambling, Andy became aggressive and stole money from other students. These are only a few of the many negative side effects that can come from teen gambling. Some other effects include the lack of attention in school and also lack of interest in any other activities. The parent of a student Lori who was age 19 expressed her frustration “Lori used to be such a great student, she used to achieve good grades and she was also a part of the school’s volleyball team but recently, she always goes over to a friend’s house to play poker. Her grades have dropped significantly and she won’t even talk to me about it. Her volleyball coach also came to me and expressed concern over Lori due to recent absences. It is like all of her attention is being sucked away by poker!” Lori did not become violent or aggressive like Andy but she lost interest in other interests she had and her school performance dropped significantly as well.

Age limits don’t work

There may be an age limit on gambling but that doesn’t stop teens from finding other ways to gamble. There are 30-40% of students across the United States that have tried and participated in some form of gambling.

What do you think?

Do you have a Jared, Andy or Lori that you have treated or are currently treating? I’d love to hear about a client you are treating for gambling.  If you need continuing education credits for your license renewal, check out our facebook page  to get a 20% discount code. This code entitles you to an additional 20% off CEU courses

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